The questions we ask ourselves have a big impact on us. Try this out just for fun. Ask someone a question to which there is no answer really or that has answers beyond our understanding, like why is the earth round or why did you do that? Whatever it is. You will see their mind start spinning and looking for answers. They likely wont just say "I don't know", even if they do at first, give them some time and they will come back with more answers.
Your brain wants to have the answers. So, when you ask a question like "why am I such an idiot?" Your brain will start to create answers for you, those answers will be presented to you as evidence to why you are an idiot and then you develop the identity that you are an idiot.
Now when we flip this the other way and ask an empowering question, like "what can I learn from this?" Your brain again goes to work on finding the lesson and presents this to you as evidence that you are learning, not that you are an idiot. Now you are developing the identity of a person who learns.
My current question is "why is this happening for me?" and I follow it up with "what can I learn from this?"
MetaphorX4
Say you are out on the trail and hit an obstacle that you can't get up. If you ask yourself "why does my 4X4 suck?" your answers are going to point to all the limitations of your rig. On the other hand if your question is "how can I get over this obstacle?" your answers will be different strategies that you haven't tried yet. Maybe it's more momentum, a change in wheel placement, or maybe you realize you need more clearance and will try again after lifting your rig higher. In any case, your outcomes will be much different depending on the questions you ask yourself about your situation.
Develop some powerful questions for yourself by first listening to the questions that come naturally to you. No need to judge them, just hear them, write them down if you need to so that you can remember them and review them. This practice alone will give you lots of insight into where your perspective comes from. Next, see if you can change your questions so that they will reveal answers that drive you forward, empower you, inspire you, or even just make you feel better in the moment. Play and have fun with this, it is very interesting how changing a word or two in your question changes the answers you'll find.
We are all looking for answers. If you want a better answer.... Ask a better question!
